


Beyond the Veil of the Misty Rainbow

by Calacious



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hawaii Five-0 (2010), Les Schtroumpfs | The Smurfs
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, Brainy Smurf/Handy Smurf, Creature Inheritance, Crossover Pairings, Inherited creature attributes, Made up Magic, Magic and Muggle worlds colliding, Masturbation, Merman Shifter Steve, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, Multiple Crossovers, Papa Smurf/Albus Dumbledore, Past Papa Smurf/Danny "Danno" Williams, Seahorse Shifter and Carrier Handy Smurf, Severitus, Sexual orgies mentioned, Shark Shifter Papa Smurf, Shifter Harry, Shifter Smurfs, Snake Shifter Severus, TV Tropes, Threesome - M/M/M, Transmogrification, Unicorn Shifter Danny, mpreg kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-13 14:49:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11187384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calacious/pseuds/Calacious
Summary: When a man child fathered by three men from three different walks of life is born in the Smurf Village, Papa Smurf is faced with a dilemma. Should he keep the man child or return it to one of the two worlds that it belongs to? The prophesies are clear, the man child will suffer, but should Papa Smurf keep it, the world will suffer more as darkness will descend upon the entire universe.





	1. The Expelling of the Man Child - the Not Quite Beginning of the Story

**Author's Note:**

  * For [suerum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suerum/gifts).



> I asked my friend what she wanted for her birthday fic, and she sent me this idea, as a joke, because she hates all of these things, but knows that they make me happy: "I want the most in-depth ever Smurfs/HI 5-0/Harry Potter crossover where everyone has been turned into sharks or sparkly unicorns"
> 
> My muse latched onto this crazy idea that I know my friend does not really want for her birthday, and I wrote it. I will be working on something more suited to her tastes for her actual birthday fic. I think the lesson in this story is, be careful of what you suggest for writing material, my fickle muse will go with the strangest of things. 
> 
> I was just happy that this, crazy as it is, sparked some writing. This is not perfect, there are errors. Please keep in mind that this is crack and not meant to be taken overly seriously. I hope that someone, somewhere, enjoys this, such as it is. I don't own the characters of this work of fiction, and I'm pretty sure they're immensely happy that I don't. The Smurfs in this story are not the innocent, happy go lucky Smurfs that we've all come to know and love, these ones are a little different.

Smurf Village, unplotted location beyond the Veil of the Misty Rainbow

“Oh, look, isn’t he so, so, so, Smurfy?!” Smurfette exclaimed with a squeal that was, unfortunately, a little too loud.

Papa Smurf took a deep breath and resisted the urge to glare at the young Smurf. She wasn’t the only one who was excited about the mysterious man child that had been birthed by the ‘carrier’ in their midst, Handy Smurf. Though she wasn’t the only one excited, Smurfette was the Smurf responsible for waking the man child, and making it cry, which could potentially place the Smurf Village in danger. 

“There, there little one,” Papa Smurf cooed, rocking the man child’s cradle and gesturing for Handy Smurf to bring the bottle that had been prepared for it. The man child hiccoughed and calmed, and reached for the bottle with uncoordinated hands. It drank greedily while Handy Smurf hummed to it.

After delivering the man child, Handy Smurf had shifted back to his Smurf form. Over the past eight months, Handy Smurf had stayed in his shifter form, unable to return to his Smurf form, which had been concerning until Papa Smurf realized the reason for it -- Handy had been impregnated by the visiting shifters who’d found solace in the Village of the Smurfs. 

Understanding the reason for Handy Smurf’s condition did not leave Papa Smurf without worries as Handy could not communicate in his shifter form, that of a seahorse, unless Papa Smurf was in his own shifter form, that of a shark. 

It was a long eight months. It was hard to protect Handy and keep an eye on the village as well. Papa could only be in one place at a time, and there was much that he’d needed to research if he was going to keep the village safe after the birth of the child. 

A handful of Smurfs, Papa Smurf included, had shifter forms, but only Handy had the ability to conceive, without contributing any DNA to the conceived lifeform, and carry a lifeform to term. Until the three visitors had arrived, Handy had never been used as a carrier, and Papa Smurf doubted that the three visitors had intended to use Handy Smurf as a carrier. They had all been young and running from, or to, something.   


Using ancient magicks and the help of the King of the Sea, Papa Smurf set up a coral barrier to protect Handy while he was in his form as a seahorse, incubating a lifeform that would have three paternal parents, and visited the Smurf whenever he could spare the time. The other shifters in the village took turns keeping Handy company when they could, but only a few of them were able to shift into a creature suitable to underwater communication, Brainy being one of them, which had led, if Papa was reading the Smurfs’ interactions correctly, to a special bond between the two Smurfs who were often at odds with one another. The aftermath of this ‘accident’ was going to be interesting.

Papa Smurf’s research into the incident revealed much, some of which was terrifying. The three travelers who’d sought solace in his village would now be bound for life, though he doubted that any of them knew it. Their bond had started the moment that Handy had conceived, combining the DNA of the three shifters into a single ovum which had been produced specifically for the occasion during the sexual orgy. 

Further research unveiled a prophecy that transcended space and time, and caused Papa Smurf no end of sleepless nights. According to the prophecy, the lifeform that Handy Smurf was carrying was destined to endure hardship, cruelty at the hands of those who should care for it, and great trials before it would return to its own and prevail over an evil that, if it succeeded, would lead the world into perpetual darkness.

Another prophecy revealed that the three young visitors to the Smurf Village -- a merman, unicorn, and snake -- were destined to reunite and become a cord of three that could not be broken. Their child, born of three, would be seen, for a short while, as an abomination, but, once he’d defeated the evil that threatened the entire world, he’d be seen as a savior, and his fathers, as unbeatable warriors, and leaders of a new world order, breaking through barriers that held the world -- magical and non-magical -- back from reaching its full potential.

As the man child fell back to sleep, Papa Smurf plotted its removal from the village, knowing that it would face hardship, and experience pain, yet somehow, with the aid of its three parents, overcome it all and save the world. It was with a heavy heart that Papa Smurf made the decision to send the man child into the magical world that one of its three fathers, Severus Snape, belonged to, knowing that the child would be entering at a time of war.

Calling on an ancient magic that was part of the Smurf Village itself, Papa Smurf sought out the proper pseudo parents for the man child, and, while the rest of the village slept, he performed the magic that would send the man child into the Wizarding World, and place him directly in the path of an evil megalomaniac. The very wizard who’d sent Severus Snape into the Smurf Village to plunder it, Lord Voldemort, Tom Riddle, the Dark Lord. 

The Potters, Severus had spoken of them with equal parts disdain and bittersweet love, would be perfect. They’d been trying for a child, in spite of the ongoing war, and, though the man child’s time with them would be short, it would be loved by them, and Papa Smurf had a feeling that, short though it would be, their love would be key in the man child’s ultimate defeat of the wizard who would rule the world.

When thirteen cycles had passed, Steven McGarrett, Daniel Williams, and Severus Snape would be called back to the Smurf Village to complete what they’d started, to become lifelong mates, and raise their man child to inherit, not just one world, but two, and unite them both. 

As Papa Smurf sang the words that would seal the fate of the man child, and that of its parents, light gathered from the four corners of the universe and into him, making him its conduit. He continued singing words that held the fate of the world, of the man child and its parents, of the Smurf Village, of the entire universe itself, and the light spilled out through his fingertips and into the sleeping man child, the Potters, Severus Snape, Steven McGarrett, Daniel Williams, and an old wizard who, like Papa Smurf, would play an instrumental role in all of this, Albus Dumbledore.

“It is finished,” Papa Smurf whispered, and a magic as ancient as the universe itself swept through the entire village and knocked him off his feet and unconscious as it swept the man child away and into the arms of fate.


	2. Changes, They Are A Comin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is starting to notice a few differences in his appearance, some changes that remind him of a certain Potions Professor. Oh, no. No. No. No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a bit of masturbation in this, but it is mostly written in a euphemistic fashion. He's a teen, he's getting a new body and making discoveries. It's perfectly natural.

Dudley’s Second Bedroom, Current Resident: Harry James Potter, (but is he really who we think he is?)

Harry Potter scowled at his image in the mirror, and wondered if he'd finally cracked under the pressure of being the Boy Who Lived, and under the maltreatment he got from his relatives during the summers. 

He wouldn't call it abuse, but he wouldn't call it love either. He knew that he was underfed, only because after attending Hogwarts he now knew what it was like to eat his fill and not go to bed hungry. And his aunt, uncle and cousin called him a freak, but so did some of his classmates. 

Sure, he had a few bruises on his arms and backside from his uncle, his cousin, and his cousin’s cronies, but an occasional slap, punch, kick, or too tight squeeze of a hand on his arm wasn’t abuse, was it? There had to be something in between, right?

Sighing, Harry narrowed his eyes at his mirror self and tilted his head to the side, hoping that his eyes, now a striking blue rather than the green he'd grown up with, were playing tricks on him, that his skin was not sparkling, like glitter, even in the dark.

There were only a few creatures that sparkled in the Magical and Fantastical worlds, and, as far as Harry knew, he wasn't one of them. He’d been informed by Hagrid, and Dumbledore, that neither of his parents had gone through, The Change, though wizards, he was told, called it, The Transformation (Harry didn’t really see what difference it made what it was called, but he didn’t argue about it, especially as, according to the headmaster of Hogwarts, Harry wasn’t going to be going through it anyway). 

So what Harry was seeing in his mirror was quite impossible. He shouldn’t be going through, The Change, or The Transformation, at all. Everyone knew that in order for someone to experience, The Change, he or she had to have parents who had gone through, The Change, and became shape-shifters as a result. Neither Lily nor James Potter were shifters by birth. It wasn’t in their DNA, and as such, it shouldn’t be in Harry’s DNA either.

Harry remembered learning about, The Change, during some of his science classes from his Muggle schooling. He’d found it fascinating, though he did his best to pretend, especially when he shared classes with Dudley, that he thought it all boring. It wasn’t.

He’d learned that, when a young person was going through puberty (the wizards called it something else, but Harry’d forgotten what it was), if he or she carried the genetic predisposition (or something like that), he or she would start to develop characteristics of a fantastical, or ordinary, creature, like a bird or a snake or even a unicorn. It could take months, or even a year for the person going through, The Change, to learn how to shift from their creature form to their human form. Until they learned how to master it, they would be stuck in their half-human, half-creature form. 

Harry had witnessed several wizards and witches at Hogwarts who were in the middle of their Transformation. All of them only had attributes from a single creature, whether it be ordinary or fantastical.

There were classes for boys and girls going through, The Change/The Transformation, in both the Muggle and the Wizarding World. It was important for them to learn how to control their forms. It could even be a matter of life and death (in the case of bears, dragons, and other animals or fantastical creatures that could cause harm to others).

It had all been fascinating to learn, but Harry had dismissed most of it, because James and Lily Potter had not carried the gene. His aunt and uncle were as ordinary as could be as well. Dudley would not be going through The Change either. Harry supposed that it was best that he not go through it at all, because the Dursleys hated everything that was not ordinary.

Harry was approaching his thirteenth birthday, and these changes, such as they were, had started to alter his appearance (if his blue, not green, eyes and the mirror, could be trusted) a few weeks ago. They'd started to manifest shortly after he'd returned to Privet Drive and had started on his ever growing list of summer chores. He’d ignored them at first, thinking that he was seeing things because of stress. 

He didn't even look like himself anymore, though. It bothered him that Dudley's taunting words seemed to be true. He really was even freakier than he'd been the previous summer, and was getting freakier by the minute.

Not only had the color of his eyes, the tone of his skin, and the sound of his voice started to change (Piers, Dudley’s best mate, had said that Harry's voice sounded musical, and then had punched Harry in the gut and spat in his face), but so had his hair.

Harry's hair had always been a bit on the wild side, and he'd never really been able to tame it sufficiently, but now it was longer, and wavy, and a little on the greasy side. What really bothered him most, however, was not the length or texture of his hair, but the color of it. His hair was starting to get a greenish hue to it. Like seaweed. Like that of a merman’s hair, which did not match the rest of the changes that were occurring in Harry.

In addition to the sparkle, Harry's skin was starting to look a little scaly, like that of a snake. More precisely, like that of Professor Snape who was, indeed, a snake-shifter. It was what the Professor had inherited from one, or both, of his parents, and what he could shift into when he wanted to, which happened to be whenever Harry had detention with him, which was, unfortunately, quite often.

Harry shuddered at the thought that he might somehow be related to Professor Snape. He shook the thought off with a sigh, and frowned at his reflection. His reflection obediently frowned back at him.

Harry raked his fingers through his greasy, greenish hair, and turned away from his reflection. It, of course, given the nature of Muggle mirrors, had not reflected the latest, most concerning, change to afflict Harry, being as that particular change was entirely on his backside in the form of a horse tail, or, rather, given that it was the colors of the rainbow, a unicorn's tail.

Either Harry  _ was  _ the freak that Dudley accused him of being, or, Harry was the freak that Dudley had accused him of being. There was no middle ground with this. Not when Harry appeared to have attributes of three different creatures.

There were laws (in the Magical and Muggle worlds) forbidding those who had inherited the ability to shapeshift to marry or ‘engage in relations’ across species. Interspecies breeding was not only an illegal act, it was also taboo, and any being who was discovered to have more than one creature attribute would be killed as an abomination and the parties involved in producing the abomination would be imprisoned, or killed.

Even if his parents  _ had _ kept their ability to shapeshift secret, Harry would only have inherited the characteristics of two, not three, creatures. The only possibility, and this was more shocking than anything else, would be that there _ was _ a third, if not fourth, party involved. That Harry had not two, but three, parents, and they were all shifters of different species. 

_ Impossible, _ Harry thought and he pushed that thought right out of his mind. Surely that kind of thing, even in the Magical World, was unheard of.

Harry wondered if he was the only one who had the combined attributes of a merman-shifter, a unicorn-shifter, and a snake-shifter, or if there were others like him. He doubted it. He was, after all, the Boy Who Lived to be tormented by the very magic that he loved, and the Boy Who Lived to be hated by all. 

Flinging himself back onto his bed, and wincing at the way the bed squeaked beneath him, Harry tentatively explored his relatively new body. His fingers brushed against skin that was somehow more sensitive than he remembered it being, and he bit back a moan of pleasure when his fingers skimmed over the fur ( _ fur? when had he gotten that? _ ) on his belly. His skin, the part that wasn't covered in a light dusting of silky fur, felt cold and scaly beneath his fingertips, though the air around him was rather warm and his room was stuffy.

What was happening to him? Should he send an owl to Dumbledore or the Weasleys? Should he write to Hermione, or bypass magical means of communication entirely and call the girl using the Dursleys phone and risk punishment?

Should he contact Professor Snape and say...what, exactly?  _ Hey, are you my real father? Or one of them, because I think I'm turning into a snake, or a snake-merman-unicorn? Did you ever get it on with a merman and a unicorn when you were younger? Is that even possible? Can three males have a child through a sexual...orgy? Is that even the right term? What is a sexual orgy? _

Yeah, Snape would take that well. Harry almost laughed aloud at the look of abject horror and anger that would no doubt grace his Professor's face should he send such a letter to the dour wizard. And then he sobered quickly at the thought of what the Professor would do to him in retaliation for what he would unfairly deem a sick, twisted prank on Harry's part. The wizard was always thinking the worst of Harry, much like Harry’s relatives did. It wasn’t fair.

Harry rolled onto his side and banished all thoughts of his relatives and Professor Snape from his mind. Closing his eyes, he focused on his changing body. Harry's fingers slipped lower, passing through the now thicker expanse of fur on his belly, and he shuddered and bit his bottom lip when his fingers wrapped around the biggest change that he'd undergone to date.

He was definitely hung more like a unicorn than anything else. He wondered, idly, as he continued to stroke himself (it was very silky, and smooth, yet bumpy, and a little wet; it felt nice and made him feel good) if snake-shifters had penises at all. The thought of a snake penis made Harry laugh out loud, and then he pushed all thoughts of snake penises, or the lack thereof, out of his mind and continued his exploration. For scientific purposes only. He had to know, didn't he, how his new body worked. It could be important one day. Maybe.

Harry held his breath and bit back moans of pleasure, panting in the dank air of his bedroom when it became apparent that he could no longer hold his breath. His spine tingled and the tips of his fingers, of his toes, were on fire. He exploded, his body shuddering as though an electric current had been shot through it.

Harry soon fell into a happy, boneless sleep, thoughts of what all of this meant for him falling away as he drifted along in a strange dream world filled with blue-eyed unicorns, surly potions spurting snakes, and muscular mermen who swam faster than most fish and bore strange tattoos.

_ In the dream world that Harry entered, there was a rainbow beyond a misty waterfall, or maybe it was the rainbow which was misty, Harry couldn’t really tell. At any rate, Harry followed the rainbow to its end where there was a beautiful thicket filled with colorful mushrooms, flowers and trees. It seemed familiar, though Harry couldn’t pinpoint why. _

_ There were little blue people, no bigger than three apples high, frolicking about, and he caught little snippets of speech that made no sense, and yet made perfect sense to him in his dream: “Smurf it all, not again, Handy, Papa Smurf is going to Smurf his Smurf when he finds out that you broke his favorite desk.” _

_ The other blue creature's response was just as mystifying as the first one's, “Papa Smurf is out Smurfing around in his shark form, he's not going to Smurf anything. Besides, Brainy, it's not like you didn't have a hand in Smurfing up the desk.” _

_ There was laughter. A tinkling sound, and Harry looked down to see a rather fetching, for a blue person, young woman. Or at least he thought it was a young woman. She, or it, was wearing a white, lacy dress and had golden hair beneath her white hat (they all wore white hats, and with the exception of this particular blue creature, white pants, but nothing else). Her golden hair sparkled in the sun. Harry's skin sparkled, too. It was almost mesmerizing. Harry reached out to touch the blue creature’s golden hair -- _

Harry was pulled abruptly from the dream world by a dousing of icy cold water, and he blinked the sleep from his eyes to find his aunt standing over him, a look of utter disgust on her face. Harry was still gripping his latest change, and managed a polite, if hoarse, "Sorry, Aunt Petunia."

"Never mind that, boy, what's the meaning of all of this?" She gestured along the length of Harry's body, eyes wide in shock, or maybe plain disgust. Harry wasn't sure. He also wasn’t sure just how to answer her without sounding impertinent. It was obvious what had happened. Harry was going through The Change, no matter how impossible it was.

He sat up and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and gasped. He had white ears poking out of his seaweed green hair, a tiny horn was poking its way out of his forehead. It was kind of pretty and dazzling, and Harry reached up to touch it, but his aunt batted his hand away.

"Ouch," Harry said, though the slap hadn't really hurt him at all. His aunt, he knew from personal experience, could slap much harder.

His eyes widened in shock when he looked down at his hand. It was covered in scales that sparkled. Both of his hands were. He wasn't sure whether to be happy that he hadn't grown hooves, or horrified that he had snake scales the same color as Professor Snape's, a bright green, mirroring the coloring of a poisonous green mamba. 

Harry found snakes to be fascinating, he could speak with them after all, and so he’d done some research on snakes when he was younger. He’d been particularly interested in the poisonous ones. They were cool and all, but he wasn’t so sure that he wanted to  _ be _ a snake.

Harry took in the rest of his body. Other than his belly, which sported white fur, almost all of the rest his skin was covered in green scales starting at his feet, which, upon further inspection, featured webbed toes, and climbing up to his neck. 

His face did not, thankfully, have scales. The biggest change in his face, other than the change in his eye color, was the opalescent horn sticking out of the middle of his forehead, and his jaw was more angular, his nose more aquiline. He reached up to touch the horn, and this time his aunt did not stop him.

Harry smiled at the sensation of running his scaly hand over the smooth horn. It felt good. Better than good.

"You will stop touching yourself this instant, or I'll go fetch your uncle," his aunt hissed, and gulping, Harry pulled his hand away from his horn. His uncle would probably try to beat The Change out of him. Harry shuddered, and blanched and placed his shaking hands on his belly.

"Get dressed, and make breakfast, I'll...well, you'll just have to do chores inside until we get this mess sorted out. Do  _ not  _ speak to  your uncle, keep your head down, and your tongue in check," his aunt said, jabbing a finger at him. 

Nodding, Harry hastened to get dressed when his aunt left his room.

Harry really hoped that his uncle ignored him like he did most mornings. There was no hiding his horn or his ears unless he wore a hat, which would make his uncle unhappy and draw unnecessary attention to himself, and if he hadn't been wearing Dudley's massively large hand-me-downs, he would have been hard pressed to find out how to keep his tail out of sight.

He was thankful that his snake nature, whether it came from Professor Snape or not, seemed to make his blood run a little cooler, and that he was able to cover the bulk of his scaly skin with a long-sleeved turtleneck. He doubted that he'd work up a sweat with his new skin, no matter how many chores he was given or how hot and stuffy his room got.


	3. The Truth Will Out, Like Some Damn Spot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumbledore receives a letter, and a very telling picture, from Petunia Dursley. Trouble lies ahead (for a certain Potions Professor).

Hogwarts: Office of Alfred (insert super long list of titles) Dumbledore

Albus sighed and downed a glass of fire whisky, and then poured himself another as he read Petunia's letter to him for a third time. He felt a headache coming on, but opted to toss back another glass of fire whisky and then another.

Though the Muggle world was largely unaware of the Magical world, it was not unaware of the Mystical, or as Muggles called it, Fantastical World. Some Muggles, in addition to producing magical offspring, had come to inherit creature attributes of their own. It wasn't overly common, but it was common enough that the Muggles had special hospitals and had developed curriculum for their schools addressing it. They had even written laws protecting those who developed creature attributes in their teens from being harmed, or killed, unless, of course there was evidence of inter-species breeding, then the offspring was killed and the contributors were either imprisoned or killed, depending on the circumstances. Rape would lead to just the offspring and the rapist being killed, the victim of the rape would be assigned court-appointed counseling.

That Harry was displaying three different creature attributes on the cusp of his thirteenth birthday was rather alarming. Petunia's description of Harry, as well as the picture that she'd sent, made Albus shudder.

Very few people, Magical or Muggle, had inherited more than one creature attribute, and it was most often the result of engaging in cross-creature relations which, for all the progress that had been made in the world, was dissuaded, typically with violent force. Whoever had given birth to Harry might very well be dead, and if they weren't, then they would be killed upon discovery of Harry Potter in his current state.

Albus could see for himself that Harry had not two, but three, creature heritages, and knew that it could only be the result of powerful magic that had occurred beyond the veil of the misty rainbow, because in order for the boy to have three creature attributes a fourth party, a carrier, would have to be engaged in the sexual orgy. There were only a handful of such shifters in existence, and one of them lived in an obscure, little known part of the world, the Smurf Village. Dumbledore had just recently read about an anomaly occurring in that village a little over a decade ago.

The Smurf Village, being an ancient magical place, would not doubt call to Harry soon if it hadn't already. That would complicate matters immensely, as would Harry's continued shifting.

Would Harry always shift into this hideous looking creature, Albus wondered, or would he be able to choose, at will, which shape he wanted to take? The possibilities, upon further thought, were rather fascinating.

How Severus had gotten himself tangled up in all of this Albus did not know, but Harry did have the man's coloring, and no two creature metamorphoses were alike. Coloring, like that of the scales that Harry had developed, was passed on genetically.

The horn and the green hair were clearly from a unicorn and a merman, respectively. But who? Who were the other two creatures that had taken part in the triple contribution of DNA that had created such a creature as Harry Potter had become?

Albus stroked his beard as he pondered the mystery of how the Boy Who Lived had inherited the attributes of two fantastical, and one magically enhanced creature. Neither Lily, nor James, had inherited any creature attributes. James' metamorphosis into a stag had been the work of pure, albeit it unsanctioned, magic. An animagus transformation was not tied to DNA.

Just when had Severus Snape found the time to travel beyond the veil of the misty rainbow? It had to have happened when he was working for Voldemort, or Harry would be younger than he was. Had the wizard that Albus had come to love like a son been ordered to travel there by the dark wizard he'd blindly followed when he was young and impetuous? It wasn't completely out of the realm of possibilities, though it was troubling.

Albus knew that the Smurfs, magical creatures sought far and wide for their magical properties, lived there. He'd been there once, a long time ago, in his youth, and had engaged in a few sexual escapades of his own. The Smurfs were also known for their virility, and their sexual prowess, though Dumbledore doubted that Voldemort had been after that when he'd sent Severus there.

Voldemort would most certainly have heard of them. He would covet their magic, and, like the infamous wizard, Gargamel, seek to procure a handful of the creatures for use in potions. Hell, Severus had probably wanted to see the creatures for himself as well. They would add a potency to his potions that would be astronomical.

Closing his eyes, and absentmindedly petting Fawkes, who had noted his distress and flown to him, Albus resigned himself to the very difficult conversation that he was about to have. He almost laughed as he thought about how Severus would react to the knowledge that Harry Potter wasn't a Potter, but a Snape, hyphenated name, hyphenated name, and then he nearly choked on the lemon drop he'd popped into his mouth as he envisioned Snape casting an unforgivable at him for playing such a nasty trick on him. Albus hoped that Snape would see the truth in the picture that Petunia had taken of the boy, and not see Harry as the embodiment of his teen-hood nemesis.


	4. With All Due Respect Sir, But No Fucking Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus Snape is not pleased to learn that he has a son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry's other two fathers will be making an appearance in the next chapter.
> 
> Remember, this is a crack AU. Logic is illogical. Or something like that.

Hogwarts: Office of Alfred (insert super long list of titles) Dumbledore

Severus was fuming. He had his wand pointed at his mentor, the wizard he'd come to love like a father, and very seriously considered casting an unforgivable on him. This time the wizard had gone too far. 

Albus was either stark raving mad, or he was a cruel, thoughtless man. Severus wasn't ready to commit him to St. Mungos just yet, and he refused to think the latter of the man who'd been kind to him when the rest of the Wizarding World had turned its collective, and figurative, back on him.

But, given the way that the elderly wizard was sitting there calmly, blue eyes sparkling away, Severus knew the truth for what it was. He lowered his wand as he realized that it was time. He had to commit his beloved mentor to St. Mungos, for his own good, and for the good of others.

He smiled benignly at the old wizard, and sighed internally. Why did it always fall upon him to perform these unpleasant tasks? Wasn't McGonagall supposed to be keeping an eye on the old man this summer? Surely she should have noticed that Albus had taken a decided turn toward the senile and a dip toward the unpleasantness that was dementia. Though it pained him, Severus knew what he had to do.

"Albus," Severus said warily.

He sat heavily in the chair across from his mentor. He did not try to hide his feelings. He loved Albus more than he’d loved anyone else, other than Lily. It pained him to face this reality, to know that Albus was delusional, and needed to be committed. That it fell upon him to do it was a burden that would weigh heavily upon his heart and mind for years to come. Provided that he survived the Dark Lord's latest campaign against the light, he could have a century of years of that heavy weight upon him, maybe more.

"Severus, I know what you're thinking," Albus said, chuckling. He waved a hand in the air, and a picture floated from Albus' desk into Severus' lap.

Severus brought the image, a Muggle photograph, up to his face and scrutinized it for signs of tampering. His stomach soured when he saw that it was Harry Potter that he was looking at, and then he nearly lost his breakfast when he saw that there was a very real possibility that what his mentor had said was true. The boy really did have scales that matched Severus’ own shiny green in color. They were also shaped similarly to the scales that he got when he chose to transmogrify into his snake self.

_ Fuck. _

"As you can see for yourself, Severus, this old wizard is not quite ready to retire to St. Mungos just yet," Albus said. There was a touch of humor to his voice that took some of the sting out of his words.

Severus blushed at having been caught out. He shouldn’t be surprised though, he was always an open book to Albus. He handed the picture back to Albus, not wanting to look at it for another second. His hands were trembling.

"Who else knows?" Severus asked. His tongue felt like lead.

"No one. Just me, and possibly Harry. You've transformed many times when the boy has served detention with you, have you not?" Albus asked, quirking an eyebrow.

It was clear that Albus was amused, which rankled Severus, and set him on edge. 

"Yes," he said, spitting the word out like a petulant child.

He stroked Fawkes' feathers when the phoenix sat on the arm of the chair that he was sitting in. The action was soothing, just as it had always been. He felt thirteen again, sitting in the Headmaster's office, being offered a candy that he'd refused merely on principle, and being told that, no he wasn't a freak, he was merely a gifted young man who had inherited the attributes of a snake, that, given time and practice, he'd learn to control the manifestation, and could metamorphose at will.  

At the time, Severus' spirits had soared, and he'd felt good about himself, but that summer his father had taken no time at all to beat that feeling out of him. Severus had learned quickly how to hide his scales and appear human. His father's belt and fists had been enough motivation for him to get a handle on his inherited creature attributes.

When the Dark Lord had taken an interest in him, and praised Severus' inherited attributes, Severus had felt on top of the world once again. He’d promised Severus riches, and fame, but what mattered most to Severus had been the powerful wizard's acceptance of him. Before he'd learned to trust Albus again, the Dark Lord had become Severus' pseudo father, and Severus had soaked up all that the wizard taught him, and had practically preened at the dark wizard's praise.

In his mind, while he was under the Dark Lord's influence, he had convinced himself that every punishment, no matter how much it hurt, or how it tore at his heart, was deserved, and he strove to be what the wizard wanted, to not disappoint his Dark Lord. He made potions that would be used to torture and kill, invented curses that would do the same, and reveled in the torture and pain of others, until, that is, he was sent to travel to the Smurf Village beyond the veil of the misty rainbow.

The Smurfs hadn't been afraid of him when he'd stumbled onto the mushroom-covered land, sick and injured from his travels. He was nothing but a grouchy, scraggly young man just out of his teens, growling like a mangy mutt. The head of the Smurfs, Papa Smurf, had said as much, albeit it in much kinder words.

The old Smurf reminded Severus of Albus, now that he thought about it. There was no doubt in his mind that the two would get along famously were they to meet.

Severus told Albus the story of how he'd followed the Dark Lord's orders and gone to the mystical land. The trip had almost killed him. He'd been delirious, and had blustered and threatened them, but the Smurfs, along with a young stallion unicorn-shifter, and a young merman-shifter, had helped nurse Severus back to health of body, heart, and mind.

He admitted to engaging in coitus with the young merman-shifter and unicorn-shifter, but not while in creature form, as well as a few Smurfs who had inherited creature attributes that enabled the intercourse possible.

"Hmm, this is all very fascinating, however it does not explain how Harry came to have attributes from all three of you, unless..." Albus stopped talking and his eyes took on a faraway look.

Severus wondered if the wizard had stopped breathing, he'd gone so still, but then the wizard smiled, and snapped his fingers, and stared right at Severus, as though intent upon searching his mind and soul, which, as the wizard was a very accomplished Legilimens, he could very well do.

"Was one of the creatures that the three of you engaged in coitus with perhaps a seahorse, or a magical sea creature who can carry, but not participate in fathering its young, by any chance?" Albus asked. "Or a --"

Severus held up his hand to stop Albus from any further speculation as a particularly vivid, and lewd memory surfaced in his mind. He looked away from his mentor. No way did he want to share this memory with the man he thought of as a father. He could feel his face heating, and almost shifted into his snake form to keep his mounting embarrassment at least somewhat under control. He hadn't remembered that particular event in a very long time. He'd pushed it out of his mind so completely when he'd returned from his venture in the Smurf Village that he hadn't even realized he'd done it.

At the time, he’d pushed the memory from his mind to protect the two men he’d been with, and the Smurfs as well. The Dark Lord had been furious with him for returning empty handed, and Severus had faced the wizard’s wrath for days that had seemed endless. The torture had eventually ended, and Severus had buried the memories of his time in the Smurf Village so deep that he had almost completely forgotten them.

Returning to the Dark Lord, unsuccessful, had been a very painful experience. One that had nearly left him dead. Had it not been for Lucius Malfoy's timely intervention, he would have died.

"Wait," Severus said when he'd managed to get his memories under control. "If Potter was born in the Smurf Village then why wasn't he raised there, among their kind?"

Albus stroked his beard, as he often did when he was in deep thought, and Severus waited. He was rewarded a few minutes later when the older wizard took a deep breath and the twinkle returned to his eyes.

"I believe that Harry's birth was unexpected, and that, as a wizard, he was expelled for the good of the Smurf Village, and ultimately for the good of the boy himself," Albus said. "This Papa Smurf that you mentioned must have known that the baby was a magical child, and that he'd been born as a result of the coming together of four young individuals with creature attributes. He sent Harry out for the good of everyone involved, including yourself."

"But why send him to the Potters?" Severus asked.

"Did you mention them, perhaps in your delusional ramblings when you were in recovery?" Albus asked.

Severus shook his head, and then sagged against the back of the chair as the rest of the memories that he'd thought he'd shut away for good began to return to him. "Oh, fuck me."

"I do believe that's what led to this predicament in the first place," Albus said, laughing when Severus retaliated by giving his mentor the finger.

"I told them everything," Severus admitted in a small, disbelieving voice. " _ Everything _ ."

"It's okay, my dear boy," Albus said. "The Smurfs are renowned for their magical abilities to loosen the tongue. They are also known for their ability to keep themselves hidden from the Wizarding and Muggle worlds, both of which would harm them if they discovered where they were located. I believe that, while you were in their village, they bewitched you, in a manner of speaking, and when they determined that you were completely healed, they guided you out, altered your memories, and then went on with business as though you'd never been there."

"But then the boy was born," Severus said, seeing the truth of Albus' words, and sifting through memories that seemed to be coming at him left and right.

Albus nodded. "The boy, Harry, was born, and Papa Smurf had to protect his village, and the boy that you, and the other two, had brought there by accident of youthful libidos. Who were the other two involved, Severus? You don't happen to recall their names, do you?"

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose as he sifted through each memory. He caught glimpses of faces, of blonde hair, blue eyes, and a smile that could outshine the sun, tan skin over a broad chest, eyes the color of the deep, sea blue, and a smile that held secrets almost as dark as his own.

The names came to him as though from the depths of deep, murky waters, and Severus whispered them in a rush, "Daniel, Danny, Williams, and Steven McGarrett."

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and Severus hated that he hadn't even heard the old wizard move from his seat to stand beside him, offering him comfort, though if what he’d remembered was true, it was Po--Harry who needed the comfort, not him.

"I suppose this means that I've got to go retrieve the brat who lived and bring him home with me for the remainder of the summer," Severus said, resigned to his fate to always rescue the boy, and now it wasn't because of a promise that he'd made to Dumbledore after Lily's death at the hands of the Dark Lord whom he'd foolishly served.

"No, the task of retrieving Harry will fall upon me," Albus said, patting Severus' shoulder, and not commenting when Severus sighed in relief. "Before I do, though, I must find out where the boy's other two fathers reside, and determine which home, of the three of yours, is the best placement for Harry. Above all else, we must protect the boy. If word of this gets out, he will be killed.”

Severus sighed again, slightly irritated that Albus was taking control of the fate of a boy that Severus had, in part, fathered. He was also relieved. He'd been running himself ragged looking after Potter, not even knowing that the boy was his son at the time, and quite simply needed a break.

Whether he meant to or not, Harry seemed to gravitate toward trouble, or maybe trouble gravitated toward him, like metal toward a magnet. Let the boy be the responsibility of one of his other two fathers for part of the year. Severus took care of him when he was at school, that should be more than enough.


	5. Turning the World Upside Down, Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Steve, in a car, talking. Dumbledore is an eaves dropper. When is he not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...

Oahu: In Danny’s car, somewhere along the Leeward Coast

"I had the strangest dream last night," Danny muttered, almost to himself. He glanced at Steve, who was driving them to work, and blushed at the remembered dream as it had involved Steve, himself, and two others.

Steve frowned, but kept his eyes on the road, glancing briefly in the rear-view mirror. "Oh, yeah?"

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Danny nodded, and cleared his throat. "I...well, we..." he looked over at Steve, noting that the man had gripped the steering wheel tighter, and the vein in his neck was throbbing.

"We?" Steve asked, eyebrow raised as he glanced in the rear-view mirror once again.

"Yeah, we," Danny said, waving a hand between them and sinking into his seat. "Anyway," Danny continued. He picked at the crease of his pressed slacks, lamenting the fact that by the end of the day, they'd probably be torn, or ruined by blood, or some other bodily fluid.

"Anyway?" Steve prodded. He signaled, glanced in the rear and side view mirrors, craned his neck to check the blind spot, and then merged into the right lane.

"Anyway," Danny said, and sighed. "It was really strange, I mean, I...that is you...I mean, we were, uh, kind of, uh, together, and there were two others, and one was a --"

"Snake," Steve finished Danny's thought. "He was a snake-shifter. I think his name was..."

"Severus," Danny whispered as the memory returned to him. The air rushed out of his lungs as several memories returned to him with the force of a semi truck hitting him square in the chest.

"And you're a unicorn-shifter," Steve said calmly. A little too calmly for Danny's liking.

"And you're a merman-shifter," Danny said, remembering meeting Steve and Severus and the odd blue creatures what felt like a lifetime ago now. 

Danny had just decided to become a police officer and had wanted to spend the summer before he joined the Police Academy as wild and carefree as he could. He’d ended up traveling to a place that shouldn’t have existed, but did, and meeting Steve (though he’d forgotten all about it until just now) and Severus and Papa Smurf (the shark shifter had taught Danny more about sex than anyone else and the memory of it made Danny blush) and the other Smurfs. 

He’d engaged in one sexual orgy after another, and had had the time of his life, but then he’d had to leave, and Danny had gone into the Police Academy and forgotten everything about his time with the Smurfs, with Steve and Severus. Danny had even stopped shifting, because no criminal would take a unicorn very seriously. Unicorns were known for their purity, kindness, and love, not for their fierceness, or their bravery in the face of danger.

"Shit," Danny said, closing his eyes against the onslaught of memories, and the dream, which had started out rather hot and heavy, but then had turned strange when a teenager with green hair, green scaled skin, a rainbow tail, and a horn, appeared in the middle of the...Smurf Village...out of nowhere.

"Shit," Danny repeated. He felt sick, and his skin was hot, and he hadn't shifted, metamorphosed, in years, but the desire to shift right now was almost impossible to resist.

"Hang on, Danno," Steve said. He signaled a turn, and then another, and another until Danny lost track, and then they finally stopped, without the squealing of tires, which was admittedly shocking and comforting all at once.

Danny felt the press of warm fingers on the back of his neck, the warmth of Steve's breath against his cheek, and then they were kissing. It was like they'd never left the Smurf Village, and yet different. There was more control, more awareness, more Steve and Danny in this kiss than there had been when they'd first met a lifetime ago and they'd just been fooling around, on the cusp of manhood and not quite sure of themselves. It had been all about sex then. Now, it was about comfort and...love. Danny could feel that shift between them, and it was empowering and humbling at the same time.

Danny moaned when Steve broke their kiss, mouth following after Steve's in a quest for more. He blinked at the face before him, and it was like he was seeing Steve, the real Steve, for the first time. Danny wasn't looking at the same Steve he'd met in McGarrett's garage. This Steve was open, vulnerable, and just as wrecked by that kiss as Danny was.

"I dreamed of that time, too," Steve admitted quietly. "I've been dreaming of it for weeks now."

"Did a strange kid show up in your dream, too?" Danny asked.

Steve nodded and rested his forehead against Danny's. He looked as scared as Danny felt. "I don't understand it, but I think that he's --"

"Ours," Danny finished Steve's sentence. "And Severus'. He has all of our creature attributes, the poor kid."

Steve snorted, and Danny laughed humorlessly. "What does this mean for us? For him?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out," Steve promised, eyes dark steel. “Even if it kills me.”

"Babe," Danny said, cupping Steve's neck with his hand, pulling him closer. "Don't you mean that  _ we're _ going to find out? This is not the time to go off on a solo mission, Steven. If this kid  _ is  _ real. If he exists in the real world, and he's ours, then we're both going to go find him, _ together _ ," Danny squeezed the back of Steve's neck for emphasis.

"I'm not going to allow you to go all Rambo on me," Danny said, kissing the pout that had formed on Steve's face at Danny’s words.

Then his eyes widened as a terrible thought occurred to him, and Danny pulled away a little from Steve, looking him in the eyes, rather than at the man's rather kissable lips.

"Oh, no." Danny shook his head. "Please tell me that our child hasn't inherited your penchant for running off alone into danger, that this kid of ours is not a certifiable danger magnet." Danny groaned, and he narrowed his eyes at Steve, as though his worries had already been manifested in the boy they'd yet to verify existed, let alone set eyes upon.

A safe distance away from the couple who were now engaged in a rather heated debate about a child they'd not even met yet, and still weren’t certain actually existed, an old wizard with a long beard the color of snow, chuckled to himself.

Having gathered all of the information that he needed from the men, he walked down to the beach. He was carrying a rainbow printed umbrella, to protect his rather white skin from the sun, and wore a striped bathing suit, the style of which was better suited to the nineteen-fifties than the current decade.

Whistling to himself, Albus popped a lemon drop into his mouth, and sat down on the sandy beach, watching the ocean beat against the shore, his mind a million miles away as he thought how best to bring Harry into the lives of his fathers without causing the world to turn upside down. It was a very real possibility. Albus had witnessed it in his lifetime just once before, and the memory of it made him shiver despite the heat of the sand and the sun. He could not allow that to happen again. The results would be catastrophic, not just for Severus, Daniel, Steven, and Harry, but for the entire world as well, just as the events leading up to the world being turned upside down had been back in the time of what the Muggles called World War II.

It would simply have to be avoided if at all possible. Sighing as a gentle breeze tugged at his beard, Albus stood and dusted the sand off of his suit. With one last longing look at the ocean, Albus walked to an apparition point, a plan already forming in his mind of how to make everything work out for the greater good of everyone involved, Harry included.

Clearly Albus had done the boy a grave disservice by sending him to live with the Dursleys. Albus had spent three days watching Harry at his home on Privet Drive before making this trip to Hawaii, and had been devastated. He'd wanted to remove Harry immediately, no plan in place, and hex Petunia, Dudley, and Vernon until they understood the errors of their ways.

Watching Harry dodge fists and drag himself off to bed after working himself harder than a house elf, had made Albus' stomach clench, and it brought back the memory of eleven year old Harry's heartfelt plea to stay at Hogwarts over the summer break. Dumbledore wished that he could take back what he'd said, and let the boy stay at Hogwarts. He couldn't do that, though. Not only would he be breaking several wizarding rules if he'd tried, but that wasn't what Harry needed now.

No, what the boy needed now was to be with his fathers, all three of them, and what those fathers needed, whether they knew it or not, was each other, and Harry. They needed, above all else, Voldemort and his war be damned, was to be a family, and to show Harry how to control his creature attributes. It would not be easy, because two worlds, and their laws, would be against them.

Maybe he was wrong, and the world did need to be flipped over on its head after all, Albus thought to himself as he turned on the spot and apparated to Hogsmeade.


	6. The Only Way, aka, The Day that H E Double Hockey Sticks Froze Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Albus explains what needs to happen. Severus is not a happy camper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...

Hogwarts: Office of Alfred (insert super long list of titles) Dumbledore

"Absolutely not," Severus said, his voice a dangerous whisper. His arms were crossed over his chest defensively. "You cannot make me, you old fool."

Albus sucked on his lemon drop, and stroked Fawkes' feathers. The phoenix would soon die and be reborn again. His feathers were dull, and several fell out while Albus petted him. The bird didn't seem to mind, though. He stood there while Albus pondered the young, obstinate wizard scowling down at him.

"Take a seat," Albus said, gesturing toward the chair that Severus had vacated in his anger. Severus glared at him and continued to stand. Sighing, Albus stood as well.

"I understand that what I'm suggesting is a bit unconventional, but --"

"Unconventional?" Severus was seething, his chest heaving, and he threw his arms wide. "Unconventional? Try impossible. Try unholy. Try,  _ not on your fucking life. _ "

Albus bit his tongue. He'd known that Severus would be hard to convince, but knowing that and having to face the Potions Master's ire directly were two different things. Albus was close to losing his own temper as well, and to ground himself he remembered how it had felt like he'd been sucker punched when he'd made the discovery that Harry's first bedroom had been a cupboard beneath the stairs. Harry was more important than exerting external control over Severus' temper. He'd wait out the younger wizard, trusting that Severus would eventually calm down on his own and see reason.

"I will not uproot my life here and go off to live in some godforsaken, sand-covered cesspool of perpetual sunshine and tourists that reek of coconut oil and aloe," Severus said through gritted teeth. "I won't do it."

"Not even for Harry?" Albus asked, wincing at the look of pure loathing that Severus shot him.

"Harry has been nothing but a pain in my backside for the past four years, Albus. He's been cocky and insufferable. The boy charges headlong into danger, putting himself, and others, at risk. The boy is a menace," Severus all but shouted. He was trembling, and Albus felt more than a little bad for what he'd asked of the younger wizard.

"I understand, Severus," Albus said. Risking the chance that his hand might get hexed if he rested it on Severus' shoulder, he did so anyway. He was decidedly not smiling when his hand wasn't hexed. It was a small victory in a game in which he needed to start making larger victories if he didn't want to be here, still arguing with Severus, for the next week. Harry was in very real danger if he continued to stay with the Dursleys, and not just because they were abusive. 

The sooner he could move Harry out of the Dursleys' home, the better. He did not want to think about what the boy was enduring while he was trying to get one, of three, of his fathers to agree to an arrangement which would not be readily accepted by either the Wizarding, or the Muggle, Worlds. Though Albus thought that he'd seen a larger scale of acceptance of differences in Hawaii, he did not know if that would hold true for what he was proposing, or if Harry would simply be killed the moment he set foot on the island.

"A three-way bonding is out of the question," Severus said, though it was clear that he was winding down, that the anger was leaving him.

"It is, I am afraid, the only way," Albus said.

He'd spent countless hour (well, the better part of forty-eight hours at any rate) researching different possibilities, and this one had the most merit, and offered the most protection for all four of them.

Severus shook his head, and ducked out of Albus' reach. "It can't be the only way. Can't you just bring the boy to Hawaii, let him spend some time with both of his fathers one at a time, and then, when he returns to Hogwarts, he'll be under my protection once again?"

Albus had thought of that as well, but the similar dreams that Daniel, Steven, and though admitted through gritted teeth, Severus, had dreamed, all seemed to point to this one ancient magical act, in which three cords, one magical, the other two not, were bound by vows, blood, and an exchange of bodily fluids.

A marriage of three, not of two. The last such marriage in recorded history had occurred over a century ago, and had all but been wiped from most records, save for that of an obscure tome which had somehow found its way into Albus' personal library, and on his desk while he'd been away, checking once again on Harry, and Steven and Danny, who were arguing, though about something completely different than he'd heard them arguing about last time he had visited.

Albus had a sneaking suspicion that it was the work of this Papa Smurf that Severus had seemed fond of when he'd spoken of the Smurf Village, or one of the head Smurf's followers. There was a trace of the most ancient of magic lingering in his office. A magic that Dumbledore could remember from a lifetime ago. It had been so long for him, and his memories of his time in the Smurf Village were merely vague feelings, rather than solid memories that would allow him to recall faces and names.

Albus accio'd the book to himself, flipped to the page that had been magically marked for him, and then showed it to Severus, who, as he read, sank into the seat that he'd abandoned earlier, much to Albus' relief. Albus watched the Potions’ Master tense as he read, and saw the moment when Severus had come to the same conclusion that he had in the way that the younger wizard's shoulders sagged and he hung his head in defeat.

"Fine, I'll consent," Severus said. "Good luck convincing the Muggles, and Harry."

"I believe that your son will be more than happy to leave the Dursleys' home, and to learn that they are no more blood relations to him than a grindylow is," Albus said vehemently.

Severus frowned, and opened his mouth to speak, but Albus waved his question away. He'd tell Severus the truth of Harry's upbringing when he told the boy's other fathers, and he'd face the consequences of what he'd unwittingly done. He wondered if Papa Smurf would come clean for the part that he’d played in all of this as well, but cast the thought aside almost as soon as it had come.

It was the wizard, and the two Muggles who'd breached the Smurfs' sanctuary and involved one of their own in their acts, not the other way around. Papa Smurf had every right to cast the child out, and then to demand a three-way magical binding of the men who'd turned his little village upside down when a magical child, born of three men, had been carried by one of his own.

There were magical fences to mend, and it seemed like this was how Papa Smurf wanted it to be done. Albus had no idea why, but he'd find out, but not before the ceremony itself was completed.

"For now, though, there are two other parties that need to be informed, and convinced that this is the right thing to do, and for that, I will need your services," Albus said, not giving Severus the opportunity to disagree with him as he grabbed Severus' wrist with one hand and activated the portkey he held in his other hand.


	7. Reunited and It Feels So...Strange, and Good, Definitely Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus, Danny and Steve are reunited, and things pick up where they left off so long ago (almost, Dumbledore is kind of a cock blocker).

Oahu: Steve McGarrett’s (soon to be Severus, Danny, and Harry’s) Living Room

"You've got to be kidding me," Danny said, hands cutting through the air as he spoke. "Tell me he's kidding."

Danny turned beseeching blue eyes on Severus who could only stare as he was reminded of those blue eyes staring into his while he, Danny and Steve were making love on a patch of green grass beneath an equally blue sky.

Severus blinked, and then chastised himself for getting lost in such sordid memories. No matter how good they were, and how good he'd felt at the time, now was not the time or place for him to get lost in the past.

"I'm afraid that what he's saying is true," Severus said, voice thick with suppressed emotions that kept trying their best to surface, though he kept pushing them down.

"So, what you're saying," Steve looked from Albus to Danny to Severus and then back again as he tried to process what he'd heard, "is that all three of us need to be married?"

Danny rolled his eyes and quirked an eyebrow in Severus' direction, as though they were sharing a mutual exasperation that time without memory of their tryst in the Smurf Village had done nothing to dull. Severus' heart throbbed in remembered intimacy, and his palms grew sweaty, his head spun. The two men had been reunited for years now, and shared an intimacy outside of what they’d shared within the Smurf Village, and Severus couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy at what he was seeing.

Albus, the old fool, and whoever had led him to the discovery of this ancient act of binding, (Severus had an inkling that it might be Papa Smurf, the old shark-shifter) had been right, the three of them had tapped into some kind of ancient magic which had already bound them together, or maybe they'd opened some kind of ancient magical portal when they'd come together in the Smurf Village beyond the veil of the misty rainbow. However it had happened, the fact remained that they were now meant to be together, not only in the carnal sense of the word, but in a way that would intertwine their very beings -- soul, mind, body, heart, and magic -- their cords of life. Severus had read the passage in the book several times over now and he could see no other way to save everyone’s life.

Severus wondered if Danny had ever been with Papa Smurf again, after the few times the two had cavorted together -- the shark and the unicorn -- if he'd ever been invited back to the village to fuck, or maybe just to talk, or if Steve had returned. He squashed down the feelings of jealousy that these thoughts aroused, and focused, instead, on the conversation at hand.

"In a manner of speaking, yes," Albus said. "Though a three-way bond is far more binding than a Muggle marriage ceremony, and it is unbreakable. Once the bond is made, it cannot be reversed."

"So, we'd be stuck together for life?" Danny asked, and he again looked to Severus for confirmation.

Nodding, Severus held his hand out to Danny, remembering a time and a place where this had been as common to him -- reaching out for Danny -- as uttering a dark curse at the back of a fleeing Muggle had been when he’d been with the Dark Lord.

He closed his eyes and relished the feeling of Danny's hand in his, the warmth of it, the overwhelming memory of Danny's body beneath his, their heated kisses, the way that Danny could make him laugh, or make his blood boil with passion with just a few words.

"It's a life bond," Severus said, and he kissed the palm of Danny's hand, smiling when the man shuddered in response. "One that we already started when we were young and naive and hadn't a care in the world."

"And this accidental bond," Steve said, he was close enough for Severus to feel the man's body heat, to press a kiss to Severus' temple. "Resulted in the birth of a child?"

Severus found himself nodding, and opening his eyes. Steve's lips were right there, his for the taking, so he did, gasping for air when they finally parted to breathe. Danny's hand was still gripping his, and the man was watching Severus and Steve with a look of pure lust in his eyes.

Severus was thrown back in time. It was only the clearing of a throat that kept Severus, and by the looks of his partners, Danny and Steve, from reliving that moment in time right then and there, before they'd finished officially sealing the bond they'd started.

"There will be time enough for that once we've completed the ceremony by the saying of vows and combining of blood," Albus said, giving all three of them a wary, yet fatherly, look.

Danny's eyes widened at that, but he didn't voice his fear, he simply squeezed Severus' hand a little tighter.

"Where will we be doing this bond completion ceremony?" Steve asked.

"In the Smurf Village," Albus said, and he touched Severus' shoulder, activated another portkey, sending them hurtling through time and space to a place without time on the other side of the misty rainbow guarded by the veil.

 


	8. The Bond(age) Ceremony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus, Danny and Steve complete the bonding ceremony. Papa Smurf and Dumbledore exit stage left.

Smurf Village, unplotted location beyond the Veil of the Misty Rainbow

Papa Smurf, and the rest of the villagers, had been expecting the visitors well before they’d arrived as their arrival had been told in the stars. The entire village was decorated for the ceremony, and tables of a variety of foods had been laid out throughout the entire village. Severus had a feeling that it was going to be one big party, and that the party would lead to several sexual orgies.

It was all a little overwhelming, but the three men acclimated fairly quickly, their memories sparked by being in the place where it had all begun, the sharing of their lives, and the mingling of their seed to create an offspring that had been created out of pure love, lust, and hope, almost thirteen years ago.

Handy Smurf was there to greet them, along with his chosen partner, Brainy Smurf. “It is good to see you all again,” Handy said, tears in his eyes as he hugged the three men. Brainy stood off to the side and tried to hide his jealousy.

“It is good to see you, too,” Danny said, kissing the Smurf on the cheek and squeezing Handy’s hand. “Thank you for what you did for us.”

Handy blushed and looked at his feet. Brainy stood beside him and rubbed his back and whispered comfort into his ear. “It was my pleasure,” he said.

“Time is of the essence,” Papa Smurf informed them, and he told them of the prophesies that he’d come across, sharing them with Dumbledore and the three men involved in the prophecy.

The ceremony was quicker than Danny had expected it to be, and there was no pain when it came to the blood portion of the ceremony. Magic was used, and it was pretty amazing, though Danny wasn't sure if he'd find it as amazing when he went back home with his husbands and he was faced with the reality that a thirteen year old kid who looked like a mer-uni-snake was going to be depending on all three of them to help him grow up into a man who would somehow save the world. At least that's what he got out of what Albus had said before Danny had stopped listening to the old wizard, and had looked to Severus for the truth in what was being said.

Prophecies seemed a little far-fetched to Danny.

Steve seemed just as overwhelmed as well, and Severus seemed resigned, though he offered Danny a small smile when it came time for the magical binding to be performed. Both Papa Smurf and Albus had to combine their magicks to create the bond that wound itself around the trio. The magic seeped in past their skin, into their flesh, and down to their bones, leaving magical tattoos on the inside of their wrists that matched their creature halves. The marks were identical, showing a unicorn standing within shimmering waters, the tail of a merman wrapped around the unicorn's forelegs, and a green snake entwined within his wild mane.

Danny felt different in a way that he could not articulate. It was a strange, but not bad, feeling. One that left him a little dizzy.

Severus held his circling thoughts of happiness, wholeness, and a contentedness that he'd never thought he'd have at bay, not fully trusting in them. 

Steve felt more alive than he'd felt in years, and he felt whole, which was both terrifying and a comfort to him.

Albus and Papa Smurf quietly excused themselves from the festivities after the cake had been served, and after the first dance. Though Danny had an idea of where the two had gone off to, and memories to know what that meant, he kept it to himself and turned his attention back to his husbands who were engaged in a rather heated conversation about the boy they'd be raising together.

“The boy needs a firm hand,” Severus said. “I’ve spent the past three two years trying to keep that foolhardy boy safe from himself. He rushes headlong into trouble.”

“He’s just a boy,” Steve said, arms crossed over his chest, feet wide in a stance that Danny fully recognized. The man was having fun, arguing with Severus.

Danny was content to listen, and to savor the thought that it would no longer be just him against the mess of illogical reasoning that was Steve; he'd have Severus as backup for sanity when Steve did something insane and refused to acknowledge it.

Sighing, Danny raised his glass in a toast to the future, and then interrupted his quarreling bond mates with a kiss and a whispered suggestion that they retire to the cabin that had been set up for them to use until they returned to the real world outside of the Smurf Village.

The bond was complete before the night was over, after they’d engaged in the final part of the ceremony -- sex -- settling upon the three men as they slept, binding them heart, soul, mind, and body. 

Everything was bound together by magic. The darkness that had carved itself into Severus' soul, by way of the Dark Mark on his arm, was removed altogether, something that Severus would not realize until the morning, and would not be able to question Albus about until after the old, sneaky wizard had dropped Harry off in Hawaii, because he and Papa Smurf had all but disappeared, and did not see the three men off when they were ushered out of the village a week later.

There were rumors of Albus and Papa Smurf circulating throughout the village, before Severus, Danny and Steve had left, rumors that Severus did his level best to avoid; he didn't want to picture his father figure in compromising situations with a tiny blue being who could metamorphose into a variety of different forms, not the least of which was the shark that Danny had been with, several times, back before they'd all bonded. So, Severus turned a deaf ear to the gossip being exchanged by the villagers and focused, instead, on the two men he was already starting to grow in love with, which was probably little more than a byproduct of the bonding. Not that it mattered much. He was helpless not to love them. They seemed equally smitten with him.

 


	9. Home, Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry goes to live with his three fathers. His happiness knows no bounds.

From the Burrow to the beach outside of Steve, Danny, Severus and Harry’s Home

Harry pinched himself and hissed out an, "Ouch!" when his skin smarted. He'd left a mark on his arm, the bruising of his scales made them look almost black, but he didn't care, because he had to know that he wasn't dreaming, that this was real. That he had been taken from the Dursleys for good and would never be returning to them.

He was going to meet his fathers, all three of them, and live with them in a place called Hawaii. Hermione had sent him a book about the island he'd be living on, Oahu, and he'd poured over it for the last three days that he'd been staying at the Burrow, with Ron's family.

It was a very strange, too much sugar before bed, dream come true. He'd never, of his own volition, dream of having three fathers, and of getting to live with them. Yet that was exactly what was happening, and Harry didn't think he could be happier, even if he tried.

The fact that, because of an ancient law, Harry, and his fathers, who had been magically bonded, were protected from current Wizarding, and Muggle laws, was icing on an overly iced cake. Harry would not be killed for being an abomination, and his fathers would not be imprisoned or killed either. It was all a little too much to believe.

It was a shock learning that his life had been a lie, and that the very Professor who seemed to go out of his way to make Harry's school life miserable, was, in fact, one of his fathers. It was a shock to learn that Dumbledore felt bad about not listening to Harry when he'd said that he’d wanted to stay at Hogwarts during the summer months. He hadn't given Harry a chance to explain. The most shocking thing of all was Dumbledore's apology to Harry, and the three men who were his fathers.

“Harry, it’s time,” Dumbledore said, and nodding, Harry grasped the elderly wizard’s arm and felt a pull behind his belly. He felt like he was being pulled inside out and then put back again. 

He was dizzy when they landed on a beach. Harry closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He could smell the ocean. He could hear it, too. It was calming in a way that very little had been in his life up to this point.

The last month and a half that he'd spent at Privet Drive had been awful. He'd looked like a freak, even to himself, and had been punished for it in ways that Harry refused to think, let alone speak about. Vernon had not been very accepting of him, his not-aunt had taken to confining him to his room whenever Vernon and Dudley was around, which was probably for the best, considering their maltreatment of him, and Harry had still had to complete his chores in the shortened amount of time that he was given, or go without food. He went without food for the greater part of the month and a half, and was the object of Mrs. Weasley’s attempt to fatten him up before it was time for him to leave and meet his fathers.

Nervous, Harry opened his eyes and looked out at the ocean. It was calm, though his heart and mind were both racing. 

_ What if his fathers didn’t want him? What if they hated him? What if Snape was just as mean to him as he’d always been, or worse? What if they thought he was a freak like the Dursleys did? What if -- _

Harry was dragged from his panicked thoughts by a warm hand on his shoulder, one at his back, and another on the back of his neck. 

“Welcome home, Harry,” one of the men, not the one Harry knew, said. “I hope you’ll like it here.”

Blinking tears of happiness and unbelief mixed with hope from his eyes, Harry managed a nod. There was a squeeze at the back of his neck, and then he was pulled into a hug that could give Mrs. Weasley’s hugs a pointer or two. 

For the first time in his life, Harry felt like he was home. What he’d felt when he first set foot in Hogwarts paled in comparison to this. It was a feeling beyond magical. It was real, and it was his. He was finally home, for good. 


	10. The End is But a New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the end for Harry, but the beginning as well, as Voldemort is defeated, Harry dies and then is brought back by the love of his fathers.

Somewhere where time does not exist, and then in Severus’ quarters at Hogwarts

Harry couldn’t feel his legs, or his arms, or any part of his body for that matter. He knew that he should probably be worried about that, but he wasn’t. He was floating somewhere between the past and the present, between one world and the next. 

The last thing that Harry remembered was facing off against Voldemort after he and Cedric had reached the center of the maze during the Triwizard Tournament and touched what had turned out to be a portkey. 

Cedric was dead. 

Harry thought that if he could really feel anything right now, he’d feel sad about that. As it was, he felt nothing. He was, for lack of a better word, empty. 

Empty and lost. 

Harry remembered seeing the spirits of his pseudo parents, that’s what Papa Smurf had called them when harry had visited the Smurf Village shortly after he’d started living with his fathers, Cedric, and many, many other people that Voldemort had murdered over the years. They’d protected Harry from taking the full brunt of the killing curse, which had somehow rebounded and killed Voldemort for a second time. 

The wizard had risen, right before Harry’s eyes, and now, Harry knew, instinctively, that he was dead. Really dead. Just like Harry suspected he was. Or, at least, in part. 

Harry also knew that, though Voldemort was currently dead, he would not stay that way for long, but that Harry, himself, was no longer needed for the evil wizard’s next resurrection. 

It was a strange feeling, one that Harry did not understand. One that Harry was afraid to trust because with the knowledge that he was no longer needed by the dark wizard, came the thought that he was finally free. Free to live any life that he wanted to. He could be a cop, like two of his fathers, or a teacher, or...virtually anything that he wanted to be. He could...he could become a ballerina. Not that Harry wanted to become a ballerina, but it was a freeing thought.  He no longer had to live with the threat of Voldemort over, or in, his head.

It was strange to think about, but Harry no longer heard Voldemort’s voice in his head. He hadn’t realized that was what he’d been hearing all of these years. He’d grown so used to it, thinking that it was his conscience. Now he knew differently, and he was happy that he’d finally gone to his father, Severus, and trusted him with the secret of this voice he’d been listening to since he’d been a child. 

Harry felt content. He knew that he was dead. Rather, that  _ a part _ of him was dead. The part of him tied to Voldemort had been eliminated, erased, eradicated...forever. 

Sighing mentally, Harry wondered if he would remain like this -- body lost in time and space -- forever, if his fathers would mourn him, if they’d be willing to, with the aid of another carrier have another child to replace Harry (there were a few on the islands, and one of them had offered the three men the opportunity to produce another offspring). Part of him hoped that they would move on, and part of him hoped that they would not, that their little family would remain as it was with Danny, Steve, Severus, and Harry’s half siblings, Grace, and Charlie, both unicorn shifters. 

Harry drifted for an indeterminate amount of time, neither awake nor asleep, neither here nor there. It was peaceful, and when Harry started to feel a tug at the center of his being, he almost ignored it. 

Soon the tug became more insistent, and then he heard voices, not like the ever-present voice of Voldemort whispering in his mind. These voices were outside of Harry, and they surrounded him like clouds surrounded the sun, protecting him, holding him. 

Comfortable, Harry continued to drift, and tried to ignore the voices. They became louder, more insistent and started to blend together until they became one voice, repeating one thing over and over again:  _ “Harry, come back to us. Son, please come back to us.” _

It seemed to take forever, though Harry had the feeling that wherever he was, time had ceased to exist, and it was his mind, if that existed (maybe his soul), which was giving him the sense that time was moving on past him in this place. 

_ Time,  _ something, or someone, seemed to be saying, _ will go on without you if you want it to. All you have to do is say the word and I’ll take you away from this place. _

The voice of Time, or whatever it was, was not as insistent in its calling to Harry as were the voices that had coalesced into one, urging Harry to return. 

_ Return, to what? _ Harry wondered, and then he saw, pictures of faces, memories of laughter, of pain, of sorrow, and of great joy, and Harry chose in that moment to return.

Time had not ceased, as he’d been told it hadn’t, but when Harry woke, it did stop for a measureless moment and there was a great sound, as though two worlds were colliding, being forged into one, and then time moved forward and Harry drew in one breath, and then another. 

“Harry,” his father, Danny, said, and there was a kiss on his forehead, and matching ones on both of his hands, and the voices of his other fathers joined that of Danny’s. 

“Is it over?” Harry asked. His lips were dry and cracked, and he felt achy all over.

Danny’s eyes were filled with tears, but he nodded and smiled, and drew Harry to his chest, hugging him until Harry had to push him away a little just to breathe. 

“I’m okay, Dad, I’m okay,” Harry said. 

There were tears falling down his own cheeks, but Harry wasn’t sure if they were tears of joy or sorrow, or maybe a combination of the two. Cedric was dead, but so was Voldemort, and so had Harry been, for a time. 

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Danny said in his typical fashion, brushing away his own, and Harry’s tears.

Harry chuckled. It was wet sounding, and came out sounding a little like a sob, and Danny just pulled him back into a hug and Harry let him. 

“Don’t worry, Dad,” Harry said, “I don’t plan on it.”

“Stop hogging our kid, Danno,” Harry’s father, Steve, said, and Danny placed another kiss on the top of Harry’s head and reluctantly let go of the hold that he had on Harry, letting Steve pull Harry into a bone crushing hug of his own.

“I thought we’d lost you,” Steve whispered, and his grip on Harry tightened and then loosened again when Harry let out a squeak. “Your other dad’s right, kid, don’t ever do anything like that again. Suddenly I understand why Danny always gets so upset with me when I don’t call for backup.”

Harry laughed, though it ended a little abruptly and he clung to his father as though the man was about to disappear. His father kissed him on the cheek and then Harry was passed to his third father, a man that Harry had thought would always hate him, Severus Snape. 

Harry melted into Severus’ arms and sobbed. He poured out every detail to his father, face pressed to his father’s chest, speaking all of his pain and sorrow into robes dark as a moonless midnight. For his part, Severus listened, and spoke words of comfort and understanding to his son, and ran his fingers through Harry’s green hair -- the boy, in his distress, had partially transformed into all three of his creature attributes, he had adopted Steve’s hair, Danny’s horn, and Severus’ scaled skin -- and hoped to soothe his son. 

When he was finished pouring out his heart, Harry sagged into his fathers’ arms, and let them help him to his feet and half carry him to the castle. He was blurry eyed and confused. When, and how, had he returned to Hogwarts?

“Your magic brought you back,” Severus said, and Harry wondered if he’d spoken his worries aloud. “Rest, now, Madame Pomphrey is going to look you over, and then we’ll go to my quarters, and you’ll get some proper rest.”

Harry nodded, and then closed his eyes. He was floating again, but he wasn’t alone. There were hands and arms holding him up, and the sounds of his fathers’ voices keeping him grounded in time and place. 

“You’re never alone, Harry,” Steve said. 

“You’ll always have us,” Danny said. 

“Always and forever,” Severus said. 

“Thank you,” Harry said, knowing that those words would never be good enough to express just how much he loved his three dads, but they were all that he had the energy to say just now.

“Rest,” Severus repeated, squeezing the back of Harry’s neck. 

“Yes, mother hen,” Harry muttered and got a sharp, though light, tap to the back of his head from one of his other fathers, probably Danny.

“Listen to your father,” Steve said, chuckling a little and sidestepping what was no doubt a slap being delivered to the back of his head if the jostling that harry felt was anything to go by. 

“Would the two of you stop that?” Severus said, sounding far more amused than exasperated (it was a nice change in the normally dour man’s behavior and attitude -- he’d changed a lot since Harry had first met him). “Help me with our son.”

Harry smiled and let his fathers’ quiet, friendly bickering wash over him as he was brought to the Hospital Wing. After he was examined and it was determined that he needed a potion to counter the effects of the Cruciatus Curse and shock, and that most of all, he needed sleep, Harry was carried to his father’s quarters in the dungeons and allowed to sleep in his own room. 

When he woke the next morning, all three of his fathers were sitting at the breakfast table, arguing about who go the privilege of waking Harry. Harry stifled a laugh as he listened to his fathers, and then, when Danny turned in his direction, a soft look of love in his eyes, Harry practically ran to his fathers and hugged each of them in turn. 

“I love you,” he said, feeling foolish and sappy and completely ridiculous, especially standing in front of all three men in his pajamas. 

“Come, join us for breakfast,” Severus said, his voice filled with a fondness Harry would never have dreamed hearing in it. He gestured toward the chair next to him, placing Harry between himself and Danny. 

“We’re all so proud of you, Harry,” Danny said as he placed a pile of sausage, bacon, breakfast potatoes, pancakes, and fruit on Harry’s plate. 

Harry blinked at all of the food and looked, wide-eyed, to Steve for help. When Harry had first started living with his fathers, he’d been nothing but skin and bones (according to Danny) thanks to the Dursleys who’d hardly fed him anything at all. Danny had made it a personal mission to make sure that Harry had enough to eat, and, like Mrs. Weasley, had also made it a personal mission to, ‘put some meat’ on Harry’s bones. 

Harry was far from the awkward, skinny teen he’d been when he’d first moved into his fathers’ home, and he had filled out quite a bit. He wasn’t fat by any stretch of the imagination, but he was healthy and had muscles on a solid frame thanks to his hobby of surfing and to getting regular meals filled with nutrients that he needed (thanks to the combined efforts of his fathers). 

Harry also had a much better self-esteem, and, though he was different than anyone else in the world, he no longer thought of himself as a freak. He was, in Danny’s daughter’s words, a ‘trendsetter’. And now, thanks to the unhappy events of the Triwizard Tournament, he was free from Voldemort and from the destiny that the megalomaniac had tried to tie Harry to when he’d killed James and Lily Potter. 

Talk turned to other things as Harry tucked into breakfast, surreptitiously sliding some of the food off of his plate and down to the dog that Danny had talked Steve and Severus into getting shortly after Harry had moved into the home they shared on Oahu. Harry couldn’t wait until the start of summer holidays, to the start of a future without the threat of facing Voldemort and dying. His future was now as blank a slate as it could be, and, looking around at the faces of his fathers, Harry couldn’t be happier. 


End file.
